Heartbreak: The Update

It has been two days since I talked about the inevitable. It maybe surprising to hear but a lot of things have changed since then. Some good and some bad.

I was told by a my ex boyfriend that he didn’t love me anymore. Nothing is more earth shattering than being told by the person you love that they don’t love you. It’s actually a worst fear of mine. So I guess I get to say that I faced one of my worst fear and survived.

I applied to a college 2 hours away from where I currently live. I took a leap of faith. My mother claims it’s my mid break up crisis. I agree. When you get out of a relationship you become impulsive, or at least I do. I start being rebellious and pushing my own limit. I needed a drastic change so I applied for late admissions at Algonquin College, I cut my hair and I bought a Macbook with the money I was saving for a vacation with him.

Now happy news for some, foolish for others. I got back together with my ex boyfriend. After pathetically begging on the phone for 3 hours on how we need to try again he agreed. Our situation is complicated. Distance being a huge factor. We have been in a long distance relationship for 6 months. It takes a toll on you. It’s hard to keep a spark alive when you see each other once a month.

Now I am in no way claiming I am an expert but all those advice pages are liars. Every woman in my life told me that I needed to cut off all communication with my Ex. It would make him miss me and then we would get back together. I know him, I know us. That would have never worked. It would have pushed him away. He would have just never talked to me again. He’s the kind of man that needs to be sat down and talked to. So go with your gut feeling. I did and I got him to try again and fight for our relationship.

No break up is perfect, not all of them have a happy ending. I am blessed. I know I am. Though I am realistic and I know that it may not end the way I want. He doesn’t love me anymore. That is a big order to fill. I know that somethings are worth it. I know in deep in my heart that if he was completely not in love with me anymore he wouldn’t be trying.

In the future I will try and make a post on how I won him back or I will explain what went wrong. Writing helps me figure things out. It helps me sort through my emotions. So I’m sorry my blog has been a diary for the last week. I promise next week is all about back to school!

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18, writer, photographer, annoying activist. I like to spread love and happiness.

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